The Ham Sandwich Theorem -- any N finite measures on R^N can be simultaneously bisected by single hyperplane -- is the most classical result of equipartition theory, a topic central to geometric and topological combinatorics. We provide group-theoretic generalizations of this result, showing how finite measures can be ``G-balanced'' by unitary representations of a compact Lie group G. For abelian groups, such G-Ham Sandwich Theorems have an equivalent interpretation in terms of vanishing Fourier transforms. In the finite cases, these yield (equi-)partitions by families of complex regular q-fans of varying q, complex analogues of the famous Gr\"unabum problem on equipartitions by families of hyperplanes (i.e., regular 2-fans). For the torus groups T^k, one has center transversal theorems in an L^2-sense for families of complex hyperplanes, similar in spirit to the center-point theorem of Rado and its duals.